Disorderlies

OK, this is Corina's pick for this week, she doesn't have a blog account and doesn't draw but she wants to pick movies, whatever.

I am in the mood for some good 'ol 1980's rap! When I think of this movie, the word "cheese" comes to mind. You gotta see it once in your life or you haven't lived!

Yay a Ritual!

Ghoulies = crappy Gremlins nock-off.

This was classified as a Comedy/Horror and it failed miserably in both genres! Even the stoner character failed at being funny; and those types of characters usually get a couple chuckles out of me.

I give this movie 1 Slightly Offset Glowing Contact out of 5.

This movie was so goofy; and not even in a good way.

~B-Man

80's... you've failed me again

OK, I was hoping for a little pot of 80's gold but all I found was a pile of false advertising.
Ghoulies, they'll get you in the end.
Well they never really got any screen time that's for sure.
I was promised some puppet mayhem and all we really got was over the hill actors (bad ones) playing college students with horrible, boring, writing.
The premise was OK, a guy finds some black magic satanic stuff in his basement and accidentally awakens the bad guy. But the execution of this movie was all bad. I could go on but I shant.
My mom wins, she didn't take me to this movie when I was young and I'm glad she didn't because I would have been bored to sleep watching this as a kid.

The good: scary as hell clown sitting in the room, awesome dead guy that pops out of the grave.
The bad: where the hell were the Ghoulies???
The ugly: the actors, they were all hit with the ugly stick at the casting call (I guess the good looking actors are more expensive)

Lesson: Next time you watch a Ghoulies movie, make sure it actually has Ghoulies in it.

I give this pile o crap 1 could have been funs out of 5

The Case of the Missing Puppets

Ghoulies let me down man, it let me down hard.

I thought this was going to be a fun little movie where little puppets wreak havoc on a group of college kids.

What we get is a 40 year old 'college kid' reciting some rituals and fighting with the chicken lady.

I didn't mind the characters, cliché as they are, they fit the type of movie. The problem with this movie is that they sold you a bill of goods, promising Boglin Ghoulie mayhem, but the Boglins Ghoulies were few and far between.

Drama between humans is BOOoooOOooring. Puppets are the spice of life. Write that down.

The Goods: Goofy looking actors and laughable situations.

The Bads: Where's the beef? Puppets?

The Moral: More puppets equal more fun! >:(

Rating: 2 boglins out of 5

Ghoulies Was Full of Pooies.

Well... this movie almost made me speechless. Other then a lightening beam stare showdown I really don't remember very much! I am pretty sure this movie had a little bit of everything from every genre. It had raising of the dead, black magic rituals, home renovations, college students, parties, goblins, and little short people that looked like gnomes!!! Exhilarating. Jonathan inherits a mansion and decides 'hey this creepy stuff in the basement looks like fun, I'm gonna give it a try'. Thus resulting in wonky, kool-aid green eyes (possibly glaucoma), an anger problem and an ex-girlfriend. His "minions" turn their backs on him, and his friends get killed. The house falls apart, and his "servant" is left to fight the original evil master!

Moral of the story: Black magic will leave you with nothing!

The best: Firework laser beams that shoots from everyones eyes (like an epic battle against Noheart). It almost made up for the terrible acting! Oh and the cute little pug-like ghoulie.

The worst: the menacing ghoulies, they barely make an appearance! They should have called the movie "Crap-The First of Four". At least you would know what to expect. Oh and yes that's right folks they made 4 of these suckers!

I give this movie 1 Adult Care Bears out of 5

Ghoulies

The mid 80's brought about some of the most memorable movies of all time, Return of the Jedi, Back to the Future, Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones, etc. So with this 1985 flick hopefully that mid 80's magic will rub off on it a bit, if not it still looks like a fun movie.
I remember seeing the poster for this movie and asking my mom to take us, but no way. I don't blame her, I wouldn't let my kids see it either. The need to see this movie faded away until now. I NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE TO COMPLETE MY CHILDHOOD. So I hope it is worth the 26 year wait.

Gym- What No Ninjas?!

I think I dodged a bullet here. I never got around to watching it, but that obviously was a good thing because I get the distinct impression that it Sucked with a capital "S".

So I'll do a review on the reviews.

In one word: awesome. The play on words based on the movie title were great. And the ruthless bashing of this movie warms my heart. You could really feel the reviewer's pain as you read their articles.

Overall I give their reviews 10 Whiskey Shots out of 5 (you know, to help them forget this awful movie).

I bet if there were ninjas in this movie it would be ten times better, because ninjas are awesome.

~B-Man