Gym- What No Ninjas?!

I think I dodged a bullet here. I never got around to watching it, but that obviously was a good thing because I get the distinct impression that it Sucked with a capital "S".

So I'll do a review on the reviews.

In one word: awesome. The play on words based on the movie title were great. And the ruthless bashing of this movie warms my heart. You could really feel the reviewer's pain as you read their articles.

Overall I give their reviews 10 Whiskey Shots out of 5 (you know, to help them forget this awful movie).

I bet if there were ninjas in this movie it would be ten times better, because ninjas are awesome.

~B-Man

Gymwhata the hell is happening?

Ok, where to start. First off it took me 20 minutes to figure out what was going on, and I only figured that out because we stopped to look up the plot on IMDB.
You could barely here the poorly written dialog performed by the horrible actors.
Gymkata never really made its appearance, I expected an incredibly awesome hybrid of martial arts and acrobatics of gymnastics but only saw pajama ninjas running into the guys feet as he did the pommel horse. Sigh.
This movie just sucked.
The movie totally changed directions and got a little interesting when he made it to the town of the crazies. If this movie was about just being stuck in that town then it might have been interesting, but it wasn't, so it sucked, still.
Every actor was horrible, the casting of the king was totally misplaced. He looked and acted like Mel Brooks and didn't emulate the persona of a king at all, stupid.

To sum this movie up there was barely any gym and no kata.

This gets 1 conveniently placed gymnastic equipment out of 5




Here is the main character just as confused and bewildered as I was during the movie.

Can't believe I stayed awake for GYMKATA!

Well I did it again boys, I picked a real winner! I was expecting one of those so cheesy its good martial arts movie and all I got was a semi-flexible dude and a totally misunderstood story line! We actually had to look up the premise on the internet to figure out what the heck was going on.

By the name and trailer of the movie you assume there will be some new fangled martial arts mixed with gymnastics, one guy kickin' the butts of overwhelming hordes, and superb skill like no other man on the planet but all you get is disappointment. Disappointing characters, disappointing plot and disappointing action! The best part was crazy town (which wasn't that crazy), where all the criminally insane are sent. Oh and there is an unsuspecting surprise in this town........... Kurt's father (whom we have heard nothing about up until this point so we don't really care!) This movie was Lame, lame LAME!!!!

I give it 1 Dominique Dawes could have done it better out of 5

Gymcaca

Wow. That trailer is misleading. I buckled myself in for a fun, ninja kicking, experience, but what I got was a boring kick in the junk.... without ninjas.. at all.. :'(

The acting is bad, the plot is ridiculous, and Gymkata is awesome terrible.

First of all the movie is suppose to be about Gymkata, right? That's the name of the movie.

Low and behold, there was about maybe 20 mins of gymkata in the entire movie. Gymkata was suppose to be a revolutionary new style of mix martial arts, but instead it was Kurt doing flips over people and running away. The only time he would actually be efficient in fighting is if there was gym related equipment laying around that he could use.

"Oh shi.. bad guys! Luckily there is a low hanging bar here between two buildings! I'm really lucky I can jump up and reach it! Oh good, it's chalked up already so I can swing around on it... Awesome the bad guys don't look and run into my swinging legs. Gymkata is super effective!"

The movie starts out with a montage, proceeds into a baloney story about a "game", and then ends with Kurt running around in Resident Evil 4.

The Goods: Some poor dude got knocked over by a horse in the scene where prisoners are set free and the warriors start chasing them. It was clearly a goof no one bothered editing out.

Here is an animated gif so you can see what I mean (without having to expose yourself to the movie again.)

The Bads: Gymkata

The Moral: Learn Karate. If you learn karate you don't need a pommel horse to kick people in the head.

The Rating: 1 arrow to the torso out of 5

Gymkata

This one going to be a real winner!!! I can tell. Nothing says awesome like tight pants, flips and karate kicks!

"The skill of gymnastics, the kill of karate."

I apologize in advance for any broken lamps. I know that after watching this one we will all want to try out some new moves!