Just wow...

This is a bad movie, but that's not the point. This movie has one of the best final fight sequences of all time.
As Jeremy has so kindly illustrated, the guy FLYING KICKS HIM THOUGH THE FONT WINDOW.
That was awesome. Movies don't usually have this simple awesome kind of solution to the bad guy coming to get you. You would only think of this when you were a kid playing with your action figures, that's what makes it so awesome.
Awesome 80's nostalgia throughout, pretty formulaic action flick, I really forgot about the plot however.
If NBC ever figures out that Jay Leno is incredibly untalented and fires him we sure hope to hell that we will never see him acting because he's even worse at that than his comedy, neeyah. His comedic timing, his actual acting, it all sucks. I thought we were supposed to like the heroes in buddy Cop flicks, not this one.
Pat Morita however is as good as he always is, funny and good acting.

I give this move 1 shitty comedian out of 5
but I give the ending 6 totally awesome kick ass flying kicks out of 5

Moral of the story, Jay Leno sucks.

When Courses Collide

Collision Course was pretty cheesy. I like cheese.

Jay Leno and Pat Morita didn't really play off each other very well, in fact they went together like oil and vinegar. Pat Morita was charming as usual, and his drunk scene was pretty funny, but then the camera would cut to Jay 'hammy acting' Leno and the scene would get punched in the junk.

The Goods: A fun period piece (yeah I'm calling it a period piece).

Crazy 80s music and stupid action. Example of stupid action: grenade + cartfuls of watermelon = end of train chase.

The Bads: Neeeaahhhhhh <- Jay Leno

The Moral: Buy your cars from Japan

Rating: 5 because I said I would out of 5
Wait... 5!? did I make a typo?!?!

Sadly no. and here is why:

Collision Course? More like crash and burn!

I should have known at a glance. First clue of terrible is Jay Leno! Holy smokes you want some bad acting..... Leno is prime example he is worst than Keanu Reaves!!!! I was hoping Mr. Miyagi would save the movie, maybe train a couple karate experts (small but mighty) to really kick butt and become the new "buddy cops" but alas my dreams were shattered.

The most exciting part in this movie: a flying kick through a windshield that squishes the antagonist's head like it was nutty putty!!!! Woohoo. While this motion is taking place you are thinking "no, he's not really going to, OMG he did!!!"

I took you through the whole movie now you don't have to watch it! :D

I give this movie 1.5 sweep the leg Johnnys out of 5.

This is Mr. Myagi destroying "Leno san's" dreams.

Shameless-Product-Placement-and-Racism Course

This is a by-the-book buddy cop movie and that is not a compliment.

When I say by-the-book, I mean they just took the bare bones buddy cop template and slapped Jay Leno into it. I've seen some crappy buddy cop movies (*cough*NationalSecurity*cough*), but they were still comedy gold compared to this Jay-Leno-as-a-Cop-Thinking-He's-Funny bull crap. And the racism, wow! It wasn't relevant to anything, it was just kinda awkward.

I was really hoping that Mr. Miyagi would bring something interesting to the table (kinda like what Jackie Chan did for Rush Hour), but nope. He just decides to help enforce the racial stereotype for the rest of the dumbass story. Though I have to admit the last scene of this movie was pretty epic. As I'm watching it unfold I'm like, "There's no way he's going to do what I think he's gonna do", and then he totally does it.

[Spoilers!] A friggin flying kick into the windshield of a car barreling down the alley, but instead of bouncing off and flying around like a rag doll he busts through the glass and obliterates the bad guy's head WTF![End Spoilers]

It was so ridiculous that it did a flying kick into the realm of awesomeness. But even that level of awesome cannot save this movie from oblivion, where it belongs.

I give this movie 1 Banzai out of 5 (just because of the epic ending).

Our lispy star and sidekick for this abomination.

If anyone reading out there plans on watching this, DON'T!

And if you insist on watching it do yourself a favor and skip to the only good part of this movie: the end.

~B-Man

New collision movie topic of course

Here is a real winner. Maybe.