Monday, March 21, 2011


Wow. That trailer is misleading. I buckled myself in for a fun, ninja kicking, experience, but what I got was a boring kick in the junk.... without ninjas.. at all.. :'(

The acting is bad, the plot is ridiculous, and Gymkata is awesome terrible.

First of all the movie is suppose to be about Gymkata, right? That's the name of the movie.
Low and behold, there was about maybe 20 mins of gymkata in the entire movie. Gymkata was suppose to be a revolutionary new style of mix martial arts, but instead it was Kurt doing flips over people and running away. The only time he would actually be efficient in fighting is if there was gym related equipment laying around that he could use.
"Oh shi.. bad guys! Luckily there is a low hanging bar here between two buildings! I'm really lucky I can jump up and reach it! Oh good, it's chalked up already so I can swing around on it... Awesome the bad guys don't look and run into my swinging legs. Gymkata is super effective!"
The movie starts out with a montage, proceeds into a baloney story about a "game", and then ends with Kurt running around in Resident Evil 4.

The Goods: Some poor dude got knocked over by a horse in the scene where prisoners are set free and the warriors start chasing them. It was clearly a goof no one bothered editing out.
Here is an animated gif so you can see what I mean (without having to expose yourself to the movie again.)

The Bads: Gymkata

The Moral: Learn Karate. If you learn karate you don't need a pommel horse to kick people in the head.

The Rating: 1 arrow to the torso out of 5


  1. Haha, awesome. Guess I'll save myself from some eye-bleeding and do a picture based of of the movie poster instead. Looks to be quite the interesting cast of actors: Chuck Norris, some freaky alien thing with a uni-brow, and Michael Jackson.

  2. LOL Brandon, you are missing out!

  3. Not watching this movie is probably the most educated decision one could make.

    Brandon gets an A+