HEY! HEY! WE'RE BACK!!

After an unplanned four month hiatus, Drawn in 60 Seconds is back with a new movie.

Since we missed Halloween, which is the best time to pick a movie, you will be treated to a scary and wonderful looking movie with a surprise cast.

Enjoy

What was this move called again?

Movie makers in the 90's loved to make movies about how America has fallen from the top of the world when it actually was at the top. Now that its in a free fall you won't see any movies like this for many years to come.
This movie had all the ingredients, apocalyptic future, rich have advanced technology poor have nothing, like animals, funny looking futuristic cars. NY 2009 not even close to how it was portrayed in this movie.Its funny how the "futuristic" tv screens are still the old tv tube style.
Lots of familiar faces couldn't help this one. Horrible acting Mick Jaggar, Emilio acting isn't much better. Sir Anthony, what have you done?

Slightly interesting plot but overwhelming who cares because you ultimately know what's going to happen. Basically hey who am I, what happened to me, who did this to me, get revenge or something type story.
I had to laugh when Emilio put that helmet on, way too big for him.
And oooooooh, a big eye, some crappy cg, and viola, they are in some kind of virtual reality mind swap with Anthony Hopkins, wow. Nice twist on the ending but it was pretty predictable.
Perfect way to wrap up a predictable 90's film, a boring one at that.
I give this one 2 cat naps out of 5



So I was really uninspired thinking of something to draw for this so I drew an alien elephant with no ears and chicken feet.

No strippin... no dippin

This movie started off a little more crude than I thought it would. But it turned out this movie actually had a plot. REVENGE. Or so I thought. But then it wandered around to other adult pranks and predicaments. But then it went back to the revenge plot. And holy crap they ripped the whole building down, ha. No prank just rip the building down and piss off the jerk that can kill you. But it was a trap that wrapped up pretty easily, pretty good revenge I guess. Bad writing though.

Judging by the poster and all the juvenile sex talk in the opening of this movie I thought we were in for something worse that all the American Pie movies combined. It actually turned out to be kind of a good movie. 80's you've done it again. This was one of the movies that started this kind of genre and I guess it is pretty tame by today's standards. Again this was one of those movies I was not allowed to see when I was little, but it probably would have been OK except for a couple scenes.

Well all in all, this movie had alot going on, the pranks, police corruption, classic phone gags, racism, sexual assaults with a huge inflatable, explosions, seemingly unending story running into the credits. But I'll give it 2.5 horribly acting Kim Cattralls out of 5


Here is the never before seen cropped out portion of the porky's poster.
This one was truly drawn in 60 seconds, blecchh.

no hay escapatoria

Whoops, I went all Espanol on the title there.
Well, this was a pretty good movie, as I remembered it.
This movie was made in 1994, the dawn of the digital age, and I noticed that the special effects on this one were not digital but optical. Probably one of the last few big action movies to use that type of technology, maybe.
The sets reminded me of Waterworld or Hook, you got the feeling that you were on a set, but that kinda has a charm to it.
One thing I didn't like was the wimpy Dillon brother, messing up the whole plan like that, and then was killed anyway, what a bother. On the other hand, Ray Liotta held his own as the action star.

I'll give this one 3.5 thank god Kevin Coster wasn't in this one's out of 5



This part made me lol when the 2 inept guards were skewered by an arrow then gave a hilarious scream/look and fell down the shaft. I though it was funny.

Payer of the... get me outta here

Prayer of the Rollerboys, what can I say Elisa, you did it again. Not even the the acting prowess of the Haim Machine could save this one.
The day of the Rope-a-dope has not come and we are all the better for it.
Ok for real, this movie was slightly boring, very predictable, the acting was pretty bad, you could tell the kid was just reading the lines right before he said them.
As for the story, well it was ok, if you believe 12 scrawny young men could take over Los Angeles and hold it captive with just their reputaion and a pair of wicked roller-blades, gawd! Pretty lame.
At least we got one last flick from Corey before his career went kaboom!
RIP Corey and RIP this movie.

I give this one 1.5 gory, story, allegory, montessoris out of 5 (figure that reference out, if you can)

Holes The Gate

This was a pretty decent movie, I was actually a little startled in places.
Had some real nice zombies, muppets and special effects for its day.
The one thing I can't understand, and always made me mad when I was a kid (and still does) is why do monsters just stand there and move around in all their stop-motion awesomeness and not just squash the people. There, problem solved end of movie, the world is under the power of evil. Its like they got caught monologing and were thwarted by the good superhero. Baa.

So would I watch this again, well, I saw it before when I was younger maybe when I was 15, so it didn't really scare me. I do remember when this was in theaters and it was billed a really scary movie, so when I did finally get to see it a few years later I thought it would be a poopfest but it was actually more of an adventure movie. I'd watch it again, or maybe I'll watch THE GATE II, starring the heavy metal kid with a nerd haircut. I think I'll do that.

I give this 2.5 dead Mr. Mugs out of 5 (you young-ins might not get that reference)

Just a quick couple of portraits of the main kids (I couldn't think of anything else to draw)
One's cartoony and ones not (kinda missed the likeness of the kid on the right, oh well)

Tremors 2, electric puppetsoo

I kinda like the Tremors movies, they are a nice romp in the movie world.
This one was not as good as the first, thanks to Kevin Bacon. Can't really make a great movie without the Baconator. I guess he was too good for the sequel, it happens.
So they leave it to Fred Ward to return and continue the story.
I like the fact that they figured out how to make new creature thus making it a whole new adventure and not just the same"ooh there's big worms in the ground" thing again.
They added some new interesting characters to liven up the show. I like that the dad from Family Ties shows up with his own personal armory.
The puppets are really cool, some sketchy stop motion and an underwhelming explosion climax scene.
All in all not bad to watch for fun.

I give this 3 big worms giving exploding births out of 5

Disorderlies

I had seen this movie back in the day, and it was a nice trip back to wholesome rap. When songs were about eating food, Freddy, and hip hoppin' and not stoppin' before they changed to ho's, and bitches, and cappin' cronic asses.
That said it was pretty bad. Terrible acting and poor characters, pretty predictable jokes and plot. It was really like a commercial for the Fat Boys, whose careers seemed to disappear from the headlines after this movie for some reason.
Watch it for the fun but don't expect much more.

I give this one 2 dope beats out of 5

Couldn't really think of anything different than the other drawings so I went with a logo type thing.

80's... you've failed me again

OK, I was hoping for a little pot of 80's gold but all I found was a pile of false advertising.
Ghoulies, they'll get you in the end.
Well they never really got any screen time that's for sure.
I was promised some puppet mayhem and all we really got was over the hill actors (bad ones) playing college students with horrible, boring, writing.
The premise was OK, a guy finds some black magic satanic stuff in his basement and accidentally awakens the bad guy. But the execution of this movie was all bad. I could go on but I shant.
My mom wins, she didn't take me to this movie when I was young and I'm glad she didn't because I would have been bored to sleep watching this as a kid.

The good: scary as hell clown sitting in the room, awesome dead guy that pops out of the grave.
The bad: where the hell were the Ghoulies???
The ugly: the actors, they were all hit with the ugly stick at the casting call (I guess the good looking actors are more expensive)

Lesson: Next time you watch a Ghoulies movie, make sure it actually has Ghoulies in it.

I give this pile o crap 1 could have been funs out of 5

Ghoulies

The mid 80's brought about some of the most memorable movies of all time, Return of the Jedi, Back to the Future, Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones, etc. So with this 1985 flick hopefully that mid 80's magic will rub off on it a bit, if not it still looks like a fun movie.
I remember seeing the poster for this movie and asking my mom to take us, but no way. I don't blame her, I wouldn't let my kids see it either. The need to see this movie faded away until now. I NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE TO COMPLETE MY CHILDHOOD. So I hope it is worth the 26 year wait.

Gymwhata the hell is happening?

Ok, where to start. First off it took me 20 minutes to figure out what was going on, and I only figured that out because we stopped to look up the plot on IMDB.
You could barely here the poorly written dialog performed by the horrible actors.
Gymkata never really made its appearance, I expected an incredibly awesome hybrid of martial arts and acrobatics of gymnastics but only saw pajama ninjas running into the guys feet as he did the pommel horse. Sigh.
This movie just sucked.
The movie totally changed directions and got a little interesting when he made it to the town of the crazies. If this movie was about just being stuck in that town then it might have been interesting, but it wasn't, so it sucked, still.
Every actor was horrible, the casting of the king was totally misplaced. He looked and acted like Mel Brooks and didn't emulate the persona of a king at all, stupid.

To sum this movie up there was barely any gym and no kata.

This gets 1 conveniently placed gymnastic equipment out of 5




Here is the main character just as confused and bewildered as I was during the movie.

Just wow...

This is a bad movie, but that's not the point. This movie has one of the best final fight sequences of all time.
As Jeremy has so kindly illustrated, the guy FLYING KICKS HIM THOUGH THE FONT WINDOW.
That was awesome. Movies don't usually have this simple awesome kind of solution to the bad guy coming to get you. You would only think of this when you were a kid playing with your action figures, that's what makes it so awesome.
Awesome 80's nostalgia throughout, pretty formulaic action flick, I really forgot about the plot however.
If NBC ever figures out that Jay Leno is incredibly untalented and fires him we sure hope to hell that we will never see him acting because he's even worse at that than his comedy, neeyah. His comedic timing, his actual acting, it all sucks. I thought we were supposed to like the heroes in buddy Cop flicks, not this one.
Pat Morita however is as good as he always is, funny and good acting.

I give this move 1 shitty comedian out of 5
but I give the ending 6 totally awesome kick ass flying kicks out of 5

Moral of the story, Jay Leno sucks.

The Phrophecy, more like the Disapointacy

Well, I can't really remember all the details of this just the overwhelming feeling that something big might happen and it will be so cool cause Christopher Walken is in it with Casey Jones and the guy who was fired from being Marty Mcfly. And then the end came... the end of the movie.
Nothing really exiting happened. I can't even remember who all died. Yawn fest.
Judging by the cast and the synopsis this seemed like a really good movie.
I'm giving it 2 don't judge a book by its covers out of 5.

I thought the scene where Christopher Walken was sitting on the steps with the kids kinda pervish.
Come HEre... little GIrl... I've got a TRUMpet... do you wanna BLOW it... for Me... I'm GAbriel

Serial Mom rocks

I really like this movie. From the unsuspected filthy language to the under the table leg workings of Beverly Sutphin. This movie runs along at a quick pace and is fun to watch and surprisingly bloody.

Here is a drawing of Kathleen Turner (well its a quasi Kathleen Turner, I'll just call it Kathleen Turner-ish) at the point of the movie when I realized she was crazy.

I give this 4 bloody gores out of 5.

Double movie week YA WOW!!!!!!!

Whoa, B-man comes out of the closet this week with an unsuspected movie pick at the same time us regulars were about to post a movie.
I thought about waiting but won't it be fun to have 2 movies in one week!! OMG I'm so LOLROTF, BFF, and uh... POOP, and what ever else.

So without further delay here is my wife Corina's pick (she's a little blog shy so I'll post it for her)

drumroll......


Its Serial Mom! A cult classic, so they say.

So, 2 movies, twice the work, double the fun, best movie week ever.

Rubber dinosaurs galore!!!!

I know this is not a great movie but I like it, mostly nostalgia I guess.
The whole movie is pretty boring, the interaction between the humans and dinosaurs are boring.
There are a few action sequences that show full size dinos running thought the forest or falling and those actually look not that bad considering its just a guy in a suit.
Surprisingly there is a tear jerking moment when you see the budget Disneyland dinosaur dad get shot and killed, then eaten by vultures.
The wide shots of the dinosaurs look much better than the close ups when the seams and crossed eyes of the animals are revealed.
I'm rating this higher than it deserves just because I can remember being wowed as a 10 year old boy when I saw it in the theaters.
I give the dinosaurs 3.5 good from far, but far from goods out of 5

Here's my rendition of the native comic relief hero (no feet because I didn't want to draw them)

Yeah BABY!!!!!!

This weeks movie is Baby: The Secret of the Lost Legend, a movie about dinosaurs found in the modern age made before dirty computer graphics and Jurassic Park.

I loved this movie when it came out. I remember drawing pictures of the dinosaurs in school and making little play-dough Brontosaurs. Ahh the memories....

So hopefully this movie is as magical as I remember and its not going to #2 on my childhood.

Touch...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Yup this was a sleeper.
This is what I remember, Bridget Fonda needs a bra, Skeet walks up to people looking all creepy and touches them, Tom Arnold's best movie is still True Lies, and Christopher Walken will make me watch any movie as long as he is in it.

At least we got to do our Christopher Walken impressions during the slow parts (which was the whole movie).

Boo

I give this 1 walking shot of Christopher Walken out of 5

I just want you to know you have the biggest...

This movie is wonderfully horrible.
Its got everything you need, lots of nudity, violence, stereotypical gangs (black, bikers and Asians oh my), wonderful acting (mostly by Dolf), superb dialogue, whew I have to rest for a bit before I go on....


Ok , I'm back, and to top it all off its got a training montage by Dolf and its not even a fight movie. After that Dolf dressed up like an anime karate kid and kicks ass!!! Oh ya and Brandon Lee is in it, he sucks.

I give this 1.5 spinning, on fire from fireworks, dead guys out of 5



Here's Dolf and one of the bad guys.

What did I think?

Well, here we go.
I had seen this movie before and thought it sucked then, it still sucks but not as bad as I thought it did. This movie cost 11million to make and they probably spend it all on make up and set design and skimped on the acting lessons.
Personally I like the animatronics and makeup. Keanu Reeves' acting is on par with everything else he's done.
I'll probably never watch this movie again, but I'm glad I did.
I give it 3 dead drama teachers rolling over in their grave out of 5.



The doodle was a 5 min scribble of the annoying kid from memory. My kids have been watching Lilo and Stitch constantly as of late so it kinda has a little of that flavor to it. I don't know what the body is doing, just a quick fill-in.