Hi Malcolm! I'm 6 years since the last post!

HEY! HEY! WE'RE BACK!!

After an unplanned four month hiatus, Drawn in 60 Seconds is back with a new movie.

Since we missed Halloween, which is the best time to pick a movie, you will be treated to a scary and wonderful looking movie with a surprise cast.

Enjoy

Shopping Mall?

Why are we reviewing shopping malls now? What? Oh "CHOPPING" mall! oooh killer robots and terrible acting! oh that makes sense now.

Chopping Mall was a fun movie, it is the epitome of what this blog should be about. Although the movie itself is mind-numbingly awful it was still fun and really entertaining.
Lots of movies have been getting A+s in "mind-numbingly awful" but Ds in "fun and entertaining". So this one passed the test.

The Goods: A bad movie that was fun to watch with friends. The type of movie that is more enjoyable when everyone is talking about it while it plays.

The Bads: There was lots of "bad" things in this movie but they all added to the overall appeal. The worst thing was probably how cliché the teens acted.

Life lesson: How to escape from killbots: Hide or take the stairs.

Rating: 3.5 pink lasers out of 5

Didn't want to go shopping anyway.

Chopping Mall was a prime example of why we do this blog. A very obscure movie and yet very entertaining. I really enjoyed it! From opening credits to the last couple minutes of the movie I was laughing at all the glorious cheese! The very premiss of this movie doesn't make sense and Corina pointed that out in the first 3 mins of the movie. Killbots in a mall rolling around can be defeated by...stairs. NOT SCARY. Also heights and low spots out of a robot's line of vision, but instead these teens "duck and weave" right in the line of fire. The killing line up was very predictable, they followed the horror movie rules. But Oh the dazzling visual graphics...just stunning. I also loved how the robots sounded like vacuum cleaners, very stealthy. But my favorite part in the whole movie: man rides slow moving scoot buggy into robot and is electrocuted. Epic death of all time.
For all those "B" movie enthusiasts this movie is a must see!!!!

I give this movie 4 air pinchin' intimidations out of 5

Chopping Mall (1986)

"Where shopping can cost you an arm and a leg" hahaha clever!

I know we are all eager to watch this movie but make sure you watch it in the day time. I can tell this is going to be one of "those" movies that make you jump from your bedroom door into bed and make you have to pee in pairs!

Freedom Isn't free, Jack!

IMPORTANT NOTE:
I'm going to try and be nice in this review. I'm not going to be mean or negative.
It's going to be full of sunshine and rainbows.

Freejack was a delightful movie filled with pink race car explosions, time travel and tin foil surgeons using lightning guns to lobotomize Emilio Estevez.

It has digital old men trying to steal young men's body's to live forever and it's full of... Ahhh I can't do it anymore. Freejack wasn't good. It was boring and predictable, none if the characters mattered, the acting was okay, but nothing really happened that was worth the money to put it on screen. I guarantee Anthony Hopkins does not talk about Freejack and probably slaps anyone who brings it up.

All in all the idea wasn't bad, and the acting was okay, but the movie stinks anyway.

Here is how I remember the movie (maybe that's why I didn't like it):

Rating: 1 nibble on Emilio's ear out of 5


BTW isn't it weird that this movie takes place in 2009? It's like watching a movie that takes place in the future, but is still in the past. Head explode!

FreeJack more like PeeVac. Get it a Vacuum that sucks urine?!

Wow...what a movie. What can I say it was 2 hours of computer browsing time. When I am able to browse the web and still be able to know whats going on in the movie thats pretty bad! FreeJack was an educational experience. I learned how to be romatic "nibble my ear for luck", saran wrap has more uses then keeping food fresh, and if you need to blend into a poverty stricken place just limp a little (same goes for if you need to blend in with pirates, I feel completely capable now even if I don't get the help of Tinkerbell). Seeing Emilio brings back the days of the Mighty Ducks I just couldn't help but expect Emilio to yell at some point "Flying V"... it never happened:(
FreeJack was pretty boring I didn't care about the characters, the action scenes were weak to say the least and the special effects could have been done better in my basement! One thing I found amusing in the movie was Brad. The bad guy from Mr. Nanny sans metal plate in his head... I always wondered what he looked like without it. I've concluded he just looks less shiny!
Overall I don't want to watch the movie again, that was 2 hrs of my life that I will miss and I would have rather watched Gymkata again!!!!

I give this movie 1 deadly games of hide and go seek out of 5